I've been having a really hard time lately; so bad that all I could do for the past few months is pray. But, the more I pray, the harder it gets. Circumstances are arising and meshing together to make one huge combustible mess, but yet, I continue to pray. Well, yesterday everything became too much. It seems as if I can't win. It's the type of situation (where everything goes wrong and the problem is never-ending) that you know that outside (spiritual) forces are intervening against me.
Yesterday, I blew it. I just lost all hope and faith that things would ever get better. This is a 31-year fight that I am in the middle of, and the bad side is winning big time. It seems as if they always win. No matter what I do. No matter how much I pray. I told God yesterday that I wouldn't ask him for anything else. I told God that I was through.
What do you do in a situation like this? Where you want to give up, where you don't have the strenght to fight any longer, but you are frighten of facing this world completely disconnected from Christ. What do you do when you lose your faith in God?
I am looking for answers, but right now I just want to send these questions out into the void to get them off my mind.
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